When I started this little bloggy type thing I was comforted by the belief that no one would ever read it. As it turns out there are a few hundred kindred slackers out there in a handful of countries who read this thing. So, yea, um, thanks!
Even though I'm certainly not full of myself over it, I do feel a great deal of pressure to come up with fantabulous content to wow and impress you. So here's a little story.
I have a class called "global issues" as it turns out this class is really "intro to international relations" and my professor has a doctorate in political science. He is a renowned and respected political economist, and I really enjoy his lectures. With one very irritating exception.
There is a guy in my class that always sits directly in front of me, and CONSTANTLY interrupts these lectures that I love so much. He is a Marine, and you should all know I have a deep respect for the U.S. Marines. Unfortunately, this particular Marine is a gigantic bag of dicks. It's not his fault, he was probably born that way.
He seems to believe that being a soldier makes him more qualified to teach this class than the guy with a PhD. Every time he interrupts with his shallow and insipid remarks a little piece of my soul dies. I can see the pained look on the professor's face every time this guy talks, and I can also see that, like me, my professor has a deep respect for this douchebag's sacrifices for our freedom.
The problem here is that killing people isn't really a prerequisite for understanding complex international politics and economics. Mostly being high as a fucking kite seems to be the way to wrap your head around this mess.
But I digress. One thing I have learned over my years of doing as little as possible and getting maximum results is to... wait for it... Listen. Shut your mouth when you have the chance to gain knowledge from a legitimate source.
For instance, if I tell you how to roll a joint, you should damn well listen. Why? Well because I smoke weed like its my job. So when it comes to methods of delivery I'm a goddamned expert.
I feel like I shouldn't have to say this. I feel like grown folks ought to know when to shut their mouths. I feel like even though I'm in college long after I'm supposed to be that it isn't an unreasonable expectation to get my hippy liberal political science degree without listening to assholes spew shit from their useless mouths.
I don't give one single shit what your opinion is during a lecture about neo-liberalism. I give lot's of shits that in a few weeks I have a paper due on a subject that I don't understand and I only have four hours a week to understand it. My research is kicking my ass. The subject is too complex for a ten page paper, and this isn't the only class I have a project due in. So seriously... Please shut up, because grad school isn't going to care that I got a C in this class because there was a pseudo-intellectual U.S. Marine who wouldn't listen, and I had too much respect for him to tell him myself.
So until next time... Choose life slackers.
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