I
have a Twinkie. Not a knock off Twinkie, but a real legitimate Twinkie.
My wife got it for me for Christmas. I know right! You should be
jealous... And no your wife won’t ever be that awesome. I also smoke a
lot of herbal “medicine” which makes me hungry, specifically for
Twinkies. One might ask what a man such as myself is going to do with
this delectable snack cake.
Of
course your intial reaction would be to... EAT IT NAO!!!! But let me
remind you that it may not be very long before this is the absolute last
Twinkie I will ever see, and that the story about them lasting forever
is a myth. If I don’t eat it then at some point in the not so distant
future I won’t be able to enjoy it in all its delicious glory. Add to
that the fact that we are broke, and it was absolutely the BEST present
my wife could have pulled out of her ass at no cost to either of us, amd
only a small cost to the lovely old Asian man who gave one of his last
four Twinkies to her (to give to me). My soul is utterly torn, and vexed
at this most noble of cross roads. To eat, or not to eat. That is the
question...
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