Musings For A Modern Man

    Being a man is hard these days. Realizing that you are neither a hunter nor a gatherer. Believing in your heart that people count on your for certain things, and then realizing that you don’t serve the purpose that you were programmed to believe you served.
    See, I’m a fixer. I always want to solve everything. As though people were puzzles. I’m thirty years old and I have spent my entire adult life trying to outsmart emotions.
    My wife and I have come to a head more than once because I need to fix her when she is sad, or depressed, or frustrated with things that have nothing to do with me. When I can’t out think or out talk her emotions I get frustrated, and I’m sure we all know what happens next.
    As it turns out, people don’t want or need you to fix them. They just want you to love them and listen. When they want your advice they ask for it.
    We are all emotionally broken in one way or another. I think the reason I try to fix everything is because I don’t know how to fix myself. So, I project my need for relief, or answers, onto things. Then get mad because when it fails I feel even more powerless.
    So I suppose the lesson here is to love yourself the best you can because validating yourself by fixing other people is never going to work. The role of a man these days isn’t what it used to be, but there is a place in the world for all of us. We just each have to find it. Maybe these days the role of the husband, friend, and partner is to be supportive and encourage the one
s you love to find theirs while you look for yours. Sometimes, the way to become a better leader is to become a better partner.