An Ode To Mary Tyler Moore

Just look at that smile.

I was raised by a single Mom, who worked her ass off to provide everything I needed. She constantly sacrificed herself, her sleep, her time, and... well everything else to give me what I needed and wanted. For a lot of single mothers there is a choice to make. They can spend lots of time with their child, or they can spend lots of time working. Both choices have benefits and drawbacks, but that isn’t what this post is about. My Mom made her choice, and her choice was to buy me skateboards, Nintendos, guitars, and a brand new pair of Air Jordans. The result of that is I watched A LOT of tv growing up. I was a latchkey kid. Also, I’m an insomniac, as we have discussed before. The point here is I was raised, in part, by Nick At Night.  My favorite show was “The Dick Van Dyke Show”, co-starring Mary Tyler Moore.

Mary Tylor Moore was my dream woman. She was beautiful, smart, loyal, funny, and honestly perfect in every way. I loved that woman. I would lay in bed and watch her every single night, and when Nick At Night would start the nights programming over again, I’d watch her again.

I was young, but I somehow knew what sexy was. It certainly isn’t skimpy clothes, and an “I’ll blow anyone” attitude. Sexiness is confidence. Beauty that transcends the physical. She made me smile, she made me laugh, she gave me my first boner, and she taught me what a wife was supposed to do.

Ladies, before you start saying “Oh Slacker, don’t tell me you want a Stepford Wife!” let me assure you that is NOT what Mary Tyler Moore was. I know the sixties was a different time, but her attitude and style is still valid. As a real person she always carried herself with a dignity that most women will never, ever, ever, come close to achieving. She had grace. She reeked of strength, and exuded sex appeal without ever having “juicy” written across her ass.


We all meet women in our lives who are walking embodiment's of that. Mary Tyler Moore was my first love. I will always love her, and I compare every woman I meet to a few women... Mary will always be one of the litmus tests of what makes a woman great. She wasn’t a particularly good actress. Many women were better actresses in that era. She really played only one character, a version of herself. That character changed my life. So, thank you Mary Tyler Moore, for making my childhood less lonely, and for teaching me what a real woman looks and acts like.